A human being should ...

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert Heinlein

One of the blogs/sites that I follow is the Volokh Conspiracy (a libertarian/legal blog that is run by a UCLA law professor). This morning, there was a post that got me thinking, especially with the eventuality of having to raise my children. That post (and one of the related comments) reminded me of the above quote.

I'd like to think that my parents did a decent job of teaching me when I was a kid, sometimes without me realizing it. For example, I learned a lot about home repairs by "helping" my dad. Usually my help consisted of sitting there holding a flashlight, or handing him a screwdriver, but even today I can look back and see how much I learned from it.

In large part because of them, I've been able to do 17 of the 21 items on Heinlein's list, and I'm sure I could do the other 4 things. I'm only missing butcher a hog, set a bone, fight efficiently, and die gallantly, and I'd like to put some of those off for as long as I can (especially the last one). (Yes, I have planned an invasion. I've planned multiple successful invasions. So what if they were all in games?)

The more I look at that list, the more I wonder what sort of things I will want to teach my son. I'm definitely going to teach him basic home repairs, like my father taught me. I also look forward to teaching him to take care of his car, and how to cook several tasty meals. I look forward to teaching him to read music and play the piano, how to read and understand the scriptures and other great works of literature and philosophy.

Most of all, I look forward to teaching him how to think and reason his way through the challenges that present themselves in life. As I read that post from the Volokh Conspiracy, I was appalled by the examples of the teenagers who didn't know how to use a can opener or ice cube tray. I consider both of those to be failures at parenting.

They're failures not because the teenagers didn't know how to use them, but because they weren't willing to try to figure out how to use them. Neither of them is such a complex thing that an average person couldn't figure out how to use them with a few moments thought. Their parents should not only have taught them how to use them years ago, but they should have taught them how to reason through how things work years ago.

That won't be me. My kids are going to learn how to figure out how things work. I may regret this later. I know there are times my parents regretted having kids who could figure out not only how things worked, but how to get around obstacles to making them work.

Many years ago, my parents felt that their children were watching too much TV, and so they decided to do something about it. My father went to Radio Shack and bought a few supplies, and they put a keyed switch onto the power cord for the TV. Without the key, you couldn't turn the TV on. It was a primitive, analog version of the parental controls many TVs have today.

That lasted for maybe a week. Four determined kids and one paper clip later, we had learned how to pick the lock on the switch and watch TV without asking our parents for the key.

I'm sure such antics gave my parents heartburn, but I want my kids to be able to do the same thing. I want them to see an obstacle to their goals and figure out how to overcome it. I just hope that I can stay one step ahead of them when they think that I am that obstacle.

A lot to say

I apologize it's been so long since I updated this. Life has just sort of gotten busy, to the point where all I could do was hold on and enjoy the ride.

Some of the quick high points:

The other Unix Admin on my team quit back in February to travel Africa for a year, simply because he was almost 40 years old and if he didn't do it now, he never would. (You can enjoy his travel blog here.) Since then, I have basically been a one-man 24/7 support operation for almost 50 servers. We finally hired a replacement this month, but I am still bearing the brunt of the work until he gets up to speed. Hopefully, things will lighten up by the end of the year.

I've been doing a lot of work on the house. Between painting the "pink room" (it was the Disney paint color "Satin Ribbon" when we bought the house) a much nicer pale yellow, replacing the roof and gutters, redoing the bathroom, and preparing to paint the rest of the house, I've not had much in the way of free time. In the past month, I've also had to take time to work on my car, because both the alternator and the clutch went out on me (at different times). Fortunately, I was able to get the parts and do both repairs myself (for a fraction of the cost of having a mechanic do it).

Gwen and I also got a puppy back in May. She's a hound mix named Kaylee (we changed the name from the abominable "May Apple" that she came with), and is now about 7 months old. She likes to get into a lot of trouble (including a NY strip steak that I was about to cook for a friend's birthday dinner), but she's really a delight to have in our home. I am so glad that we were able to buy a home with a fenced-in yard. It's been a life saver with her.

However, the biggest news is something that I am really looking forward to. Last week, Gwen and I went for our Level II Ultrasound and discovered that we are going to have a son! We are due on or about February 9-10, 2011! I promised that I would let people know within a year or so of when we got pregnant, and here we are. I'll update with pictures as they become available.

And yes, I fully recognize that my sisters are both eagerly awaiting the opportunity to watch me handle my own kids. I've gotten so much delight from watching them deal with their progeny that turnabout is fair play.

In any case, I need to get back to work, but I did want to get this written up before I let it slide (yet again).

Married Life

It has been a long time since I last posted, but I believe that I have very good reason. Since I last posted, I both bought a house and got married. Because of that, it is my pleasure to announce that Weird is a Compliment is no longer a solo effort. My beautiful wife has agreed to join me in posting here occasionally.

The two of us have mostly managed to settle in, and we are really enjoying just being able to spend time together. It's amazing what kind of a difference it makes when you can do things together in the evening, and don't have to worry about leaving in time to make an hour-long drive home. It's a wonderful thing to get home from work, and enjoy a quiet evening at home with my wife.

With that said, I have to express a few pet peeves with a lot of people that I have run into since our wedding. It seems like everyone wants to ask the same questions, and in most cases they should already know the answers.

1) "What did you do on your honeymoon?"

This one irritates me for several reasons, depending on who asks it and what they are specifically asking. Some people ask it as though it's a competition to see who can have the most exciting honeymoon, or travel to the most exotic locations. Others are trying to ask what specific activities we had planned. To answer this, we spent a quiet weekend at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, and didn't really plan much of anything except alone time to get used to the whole idea of being married. It was wonderful.

Of course, that sort of answer isn't good enough for some people. In one case, someone kept pushing me about what did we have planned for our honeymoon, to the point where I gave an answer that will shock some of you. (It certainly shocked him.) If you really want to know that answer, email me. I'm not posting it here.

2) "How's married life?"

This question really irritates me, because I mostly get it from people who are married themselves, and so they should already know the big secret of married life: it's a lot like single life, which is just like life in general. People don't magically change when they get married, and Gwen is the same Gwen today that she was before our wedding.

Yes, there are adjustments to make. She fold the towels in halves, while I fold them in thirds. She puts soap into the dishwasher immediately after emptying it so she can easily tell that the dishes are dirty, and I wait to fill the soap dispenser until I run it. She's stolen the covers a time or two, and so have I.

But none of these things is really a fundamental issue, nor do these sort of things really matter that much in the long run. (Well, maybe the towels, but we won't go into that...) The only real difference between being engaged and being married is that we are discovering more and more each day how deeply we really love each other.

3) "Are you planning to have children?" "How many kids do you want?" "Are you trying for kids?"

These questions irritate me more than any others. Quite frankly, it's no one else's business when we plan to have kids, how many kids we plan to have, or whether we are trying to have kids right now.

If we want you to know when or if we're having kids, we'll let you know. We're still getting used to the whole idea of being married, and we're not really focusing on children right now. When that changes, we'll be sure to let all of you know within a year or so of our getting pregnant. Otherwise, if you are going to ask these questions, you had better be prepared to provide babysitting services (for free) when we do have kids, because I consider such questions to be volunteering.

I don't want to seem like I am just complaining, though. I'm grateful that so many people care about both of us to the point where they are interested in our lives. But I do wish that some people would learn to temper their curiosity with a little more common sense. At the very least, I would prefer that people come up with some more personalized and unique questions.

Is that too much to ask?

The Big Reveal

And now, behold! The promised pictures the soon-to-be Mrs. I think you will all have the same question that my friends and coworkers have asked when seeing Gwen for the first time:

"What's a girl like her doing with a guy like you? Couldn't she find someone better?"

I fully recognize that I really don't measure up to a woman as amazing and wonderful as she is, but I do keep on trying. For some reason, she thinks that's enough.
This is our official engagement picture.


This is the last picture that we took that day. It was just a spur of the moment one, but I think it was one of the best overall.


We were told to walk up the path together, but I was in the mood for a game of tag.

And finally, just to prove that she really can deal with me quite easily:

Have I mentioned that I think Gwen is absolutely wonderful, and I am so blessed to know her, let alone be marrying her?

It's a Crazy Life

It seems like every time I post, I start by apologizing for not posting. Sorry, but that's life.

I'm still alive and kicking. A lot has happened, and yet it seems like I'm still right where I was before.

I'm still waiting for the final approval on the house, still waiting for the wedding, and still dealing with things day-to-day. I'm starting to get impatient at the wait. Like Inigo Montoya, "I hate waiting."

Darn it, I don't want to wait another month for my house. I don't want to wait another 75 days to get married (but who's counting). I don't want to be patient. I just want to be able to move forward with everything.

But, all in all, life is good. Yesterday, Gwen and I went to Cabell's Mill and took our engagement pictures. My old friend Meghan borrowed my camera and took the pictures for us (and it only cost me a grilled cheese sandwich, some tomato soup, and some ice cream). She did a phenomenal job, and really brought out the beauty of Gwen's hair. I will try to post some of the pictures later today.

We hope to have the announcements ready to mail in a week or three, but I am in the process of verifying addresses. If I haven't contacted you already to verify your mailing address, and you want to be sure to get one, drop me an email.

That about covers everything for now. I will endeavor to post more often in the future.

Big news!

I will keep this short, because I have to get to bed soon, but I have some wonderful news to share.

Today, my girlfriend and I announced to our families that she is not my girlfriend, but my fiancée. We are getting married this coming October in the Washington DC Temple.

There is so much more that I could say right now, but suffice it to say that Gwen is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She is intelligent, witty, charming, beautiful, and has a smile that can disarm anyone. She somehow has a way of seeing who I really am, and yet she actually seems to like what she sees. She deserves far better than me, but she doesn't seem to want anyone else.

I don't deserve a woman like her in my life, but if she can't see that, I'm certainly not going to try to change her mind. To quote Nanky-Poo from The Mikado, "She shall never learn the truth from me."

I'm a Lucky Man

Yesteday was a very good day, for many reasons.

First, I have a ratified contract on a house!

It's not the same house that I mentioned last time (I missed out on that one and one other in the past month), but it's a very good one. It's a 3 bed, 2 bath house on 1/6 acre, with a decent-sized kitchen and a master bedroom suite.

Its location puts me only 15-20 minutes away from work, as compared to the hour-long commute that I have now. It's even right down the street from one of the 6 elementary schools that I attended as a kid.

It has a small, wood-framed shed in the back that I can convert into a decent workshop. It even has electricity wired to the shed!

Now, admittedly, it does have its own share of problems. For example, when they added an addition, they built the laundry room just inside the master bedroom when it would have been trivial to put it in the same place, but be accessible from the dining room. But that will be an easy fix (cut a hole in one wall for a door, and build a wall where there is an opening now). The main bathroom also has a faux tile, fiberglass backstop for the tub/shower area. I'd need to replace that with some real tile when I have the time. The attic is perfect for a lot of storage, but it will need insulationm but that's relatively easy to do.

Most important of all, it is a place where I could raise a family. It has enough room to let me go a good 5-10 years before I'm likely to need a bigger house. It's in a quiet neighborhood with good schools (the same schools that several of my cousins attended, actually), and it's close to a lot of good, wholesome activities.

It's a short sale, which means that the seller's bank needs to approve the offer (and that can take several weeks), but if all goes well, I will be in my own home by July.

Second, I got to spend a wonderful evening at the Temple doing baptisms for several of my own ancestors. I met my girlfriend and her father up there after work (she was already there as a Temple worker, and he had just finished a session), and I got baptize her for 12 of my ancestors, and I was baptized for another 12. Her father then confirmed both of us for those ancestors.

This was only the third time in my memory that I have had the opportunity to do baptisms for my ancestors, and it is always a powerful experience. I was reminded of the first time, about 10 years ago. I had just taken out my own Endowment a week or so earlier, and my father, sister, and I went one Friday night to do the family baptisms. I got to baptize Mer for 10 ancestors, then our father baptized me for the rest. It was such an incredible experience. To me, it ranks right up there with the day that my brother was ordained a Priest by our father, and then he stood up, walked around the chair, and ordained me a Deacon.

Just in general, life is good. I have a good (albeit busy), stable job. I am buying a house that I can call my own. I have a beautiful, intelligent, witty, and charming girlfriend (which is another story completely, but will have to wait until later). I am reminded of the last verse and chorus of Montgomery Gentry's song "Lucky Man":

Got some friends who would be here fast
I could call em any time of day
Got a brother who's got my back
Got a mama who I swear's a saint
Got a brand new rod and reel
Got a a full week off this year
Dad had a close call last spring
It's a miracle he's still here

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
a few dollars in a coffee can
My old truck's still running good
My ticker's tickin' like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And even my bad days ain't that bad
Yeah, I'm a lucky man
I'm a lucky lucky man

I truly am a very lucky man.

A Time for Changes

Well, it's a new year. (Yes, I know I'm a week late. Get over it!) A lot has happened for me, so I guess it's time to review a bit of it.

First of all, I can finally be a bit more specific about my plans for the future. As of January 1, I have enough money in the bank to make the down payment on a house in the DC area. I can now afford to buy a house costing up to $250k.

The only catch is that now I need to find the right house. What does that mean? Well, I'm looking for the following features:

1. Detached, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house (but I'll take more rooms if I can find them). This is important to "future proof" the purchase, and also just to have room to live. After all, if I buy the house, I'll likely be living there for at least 5 years, and who knows where I could be by then. (Married with 3 kids? Certainly possible in theory.) It will also maximize the resale value whenever I do finally sell it.
   
2. It must have natural gas available. If I am buying a house, I want to be able to build my kitchen, and that will require a gas stove. I've spent too long cooking on electric stoves with little or no control over the heat. If it doesn't have a gas stove when I buy it, I need to be able to put one in with a minimum of fuss.
3. My commute cannot get any longer. As it is, it takes me about an hour each way to get to work. I'm not willing to sacrifice even more of my life to my employment. That means that I can't move any farther away from DC than Fairfax, where I currently am. Also, the closer to Metro, the better.
   
4. I would like at least either a basement or a fireplace. Preferably a basement (I can always put in a wood burning stove). The basement should be big enough to give me enough shop space for minor woodworking.
5. Most importantly, it cannot be located in any ward where I either have lived before, or have close relatives. My mother's brother and sister have both lived in their respective wards pretty much since before I was born. I would never be able to effectively build an identity separate from them if I moved into either of their wards. Similarly, I couldn't move into the ward that I grew up in, because it would be too awkward, and I don't think my brother needs me moving into his ward for the same reason.

If all goes well, I'll be able to find the right place and move in by the middle of the year. I'm sure I'll write more about it as it gets to be more of a reality.

This may surprise or shock some of you, but I also have become a certifiable gun nut. I've always enjoyed spending time with quality firearms (they are true marvels of engineering, and it helps that my brother worked for the NRA for 10 years), but I have finally joined the ranks of gun owners. My current collection stands at three guns - a hunting rifle, a handgun (a Colt 1991 .45 - the gun that served as the military's standard from WWI up until the mid-80s, and is still preferred by Special Forces), and a "fun" rifle (a WASR10 - the Romanian semi-automatic version of the AK-47, which is probably the most common rifle in the world because it is so well designed). When I get the chance, I will post some pictures if anyone wants to see them.

But before any of you can get worried, let me just say that there is nothing to fear from any of my guns. I am well trained in all aspects of gun safety, and keep them properly secured whenever they are not in use. The only people who have anything to fear from my guns are those who try to harm either me or my loved ones. Guns are not something to be feared, but they are deserving of respect. As long as they are properly handled, maintained, and stored, they are perfectly safe.

I am also in the process of applying for a CCW (Concealed Carry of Weapons) permit in Virginia. As part of that, I am required to demonstrate proficiency both in using a gun as well as in when not to use a gun. It also requires a lot of study and thought about the law on self defense, and is not something that should be done without careful thought. For me, it will simply be one more tool, in addition to others that I have, to defend myself and my loved ones. It is always better to learn how to use tools before you need them, even though I hope I never need to use them.

Other than that, I have very little I could complain about. I have a good job, good friends, and a good life. My family is all in good health (with the exception of my father's broken leg/ankle - be careful on the ice), I got to meet not one, not two, but three new neices and nephews over Christmas, and I spent some good time with my two older nephews. My brother-in-law is back from a year overseas, and I look forward to seeing him in the next few months. I have some homemade baklava sitting on the table downstairs, just waiting to absorb all of the syrup so I can eat it, and I am feeling healthier than I have in a long time.

Right now, it looks like 2009 will be quite an active and momentous year for me. I've pretty much put my life in order, and am moving myself out of the holding pattern that I've been in for the past year or so. I'm finally getting around to doing several things that I have meant to do for a while (including starting a paper journal).

In other words, life is good! Why should I complain?

Heroes and Friends

I ain't live forever but I've lived enough
And I've learned to be gentle and I've learned to be tough
I've found only two things that last to the end
One is your heroes the other your friends

Your heroes will help you find good in yourself
Your friends won't forsake you for somebody else.
They'll both stand beside you thru thick and thru thin
And that's how it goes with heroes and friends

I grew up with cowboys I watched on TV
My friends and I sometimes pretended to be
Years have gone by but now and again
My heart rides the range with my heroes and friends

Your heroes will help you find good in yourself
Your friends won't forsake you for somebody else.
They'll both stand beside you thru thick and thru thin
And that's how it goes with heroes and friends

Today, I want to give a tip of the hat to one of my greatest heroes and one of my best friends. He is one of the greatest men I know, and has always been a wonderful role model for me in almost every aspect of my life.

He is absolutely honest; I have never known him to tell a lie in any way.

He is incredibly intelligent, and is always willing to share his knowledge and skills with others. He is by far the greatest teacher I know, with an amazing ability to connect with his students on a personal level, and relate his material to their lives in a way that they can understand. It doesn't matter if the topic is nuclear physics, the Gospel, or how to do basic home repairs.

He is a constant student, always looking for new ways to learn and grow.

He is the man who introduced me to classic science fiction, and especially to the idea of dreaming of a better future, and then working towards it. He especially introduced me to the Lensman series, and if any man I know is of Lensman grade, it would be him. Of all the characters in literature, he reminds me most of Virgil Samms. (If you don't know who that is, hunt down a copy of Triplanetary, and especially of First Lensman. The latter volume will explain all you need to know.)

He was my Scoutmaster and helped guide me to my Eagle Scout. As a Webelos leader, he taught us to take down a wall, and then tackled us when we wanted to move on to the next one.

From the earliest age, he has always been kind and patient with me as I wanted to tag along with him on various projects. It didn't matter whether he was fixing a sink, rewiring a lamp, or writing a program on the computer. I wanted to work along side him, and he always found a way that I could.

I cannot describe how much I love him, nor how much I wish that I could be just like him. One day, I hope that I will be as great of a father as he has been to me, because I know that I could never be better than him.

Happy birthday, Dad.

I'm still alive

Sorry that I haven't posted anything for a few months, but I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth. I promise, I've had reasons for it, but they are some rather personal reasons that I can't go into right now. Maybe I can mention them later, but until I've sufficiently resolved them, I have to be careful about what I say here. It's nothing to really worry about, but at least for now I can't go into it, and it will keep my posts infrequent.

I've had a few new opportunities present themselves to me. Some of them are good, and others are really good, and still others I don't think I will take advantage of. I'm still hunting for a new job outside the DC area, but I am also examining the option of staying in the area for several more years. I hate to be cryptic, but until I sort out which opportunities I follow up on, I can't say too much here for everyone to read.

Along those lines, effective today, I have received a promotion at work. I have all of the same duties, but a new title and a new (higher) pay rate. I don't know about you, but I can definitely live with that. Of course, I'm also writing this from my hotel room while I spend a holiday weekend on travel for work.

In other news, I am an uncle again - twice. In the past two weeks, I have received both my first niece and another nephew. I am really looking forward to meeting both of them at Christmas. My sisters might not like my spoiling their children, but then I am an uncle. It comes with the job description.

Oh yes, as a follow up to a previous post. I've not visited a drive-in movie theater not once, but twice this summer. It's a wonderful experience, and if you get the chance, I highly recommend it.

I've also rediscovered my love of classic country music. When I was growing up, my father would almost always have the radio set to either country or oldies, with a little classic rock on the side. About a year ago, I replaced the radio in my car with a newer one (that allowed me to plug in my iPod for these long trips), and I picked up a model with an HD receiver. The local country station here in DC has a second "HD2" station that only plays country primarily from the 60s, 70s, and 80s (although there are some from even earlier).

In the past few months, it's reminded me of many of the songs that I heard on the radio growing up. My dad and I would often work on projects around the house, and the radio was always on. Hearing many of those songs again have led me to buy some more music for my iPod, and dig up some older music I had forgotten I had. I've been listening to the smooth baritone voice of Don Williams, the sweet sounds of Anne Murray, the upbeat sounds of Dan Seals, and many others. They certainly knew how to make real music back then. The focus was on the singer's voice and the simple acoustics of the instruments.

Again, sorry about the long gap, but as I am able to, I will post more.

Some Songs for the Women I Know

Today, I had the chance to have lunch with an old friend of mine from college. We've known each other for more than a decade now, and hadn't seen each other for probably about a year or so. As we were talking after lunch, he introduced me to a new singer that he had discovered online, Jonathan Coulton.

Well, on his website you can actually listen to and download all of his songs. You can download some of them for free or you can buy any or all of them from his music store. (Personally, I plan to buy the complete set once I can save up a little more money in my entertainment budget.) However, looking through his songs, I found several that made me think of several of the women that I know.

For example, here's one for my sister Mer. It's called Skullcrusher Mountain. She's always loved the evil geniuses.

And for my mother, who helped introduce me to the joys of astronomy: I'm Your Moon.

And for Amy, a very special love song I know you want to sing.

Another one for Mer, because of an obsession she has.

And for Rae, one that I am sure will make you laugh: Re Your Brains.

This one is really for all of you, since I know that all of you would appreciate it.

Enjoy them. I sure plan to.

Unrequited Love

Recently, I have been rewatching Babylon 5 from the beginning. (If you haven't seen this series, I highly recommend that you find a copy and watch it. It is easily one of the most impressive TV series of all time.) I finished Season 4 over the weekend, and a comment from the next-to-last episode struck me. (Yes, there are spoilers, but the series is 10 years old already. You have been warned.)

Towards the end of the season, Commander Susan Ivanova is severely injured in a battle and not expected to survive. They transfer her back to Babylon 5 so they can make her more comfortable in her final days. However, Marcus Cole (who has obviously been in love with her without her noticing) learns of an alien device on the station that can heal people, taking energy from the operator and giving it to the patient. He rushes back to the station and breaks into where the device is stored, then goes ans uses it on Ivanova, giving his life for hers. In dealing with the aftermath of this, she says to Dr. Stephen Franklin:

All love is unrequited, Stephen. All of it.

I was looking up something related to this quote online, and got pointed to another site, which is especially fitting in light of Valentine's Day last week.

Now, I can understand a little of the view that all love is unrequited. In a way, that's right. In its purest form, love shouldn't depend in any way on whether it is returned or not. True, selfless love is given to someone else with no strings attached.

At the same time, Ivanova is wrong. Not all love is unrequited. Yes, some is. Who hasn't felt that feeling of love for someone else who doesn't return that love? Who hasn't wanted, with all of their heart, to confess their undying love and devotion to someone, but stopped short of doing just that out of fear or lack of timing? Or worse, they work up the courage and are rejected instead. I know I have. Several times. It takes a lot for me to admit to myself that I have fallen in love with someone. Admitting it to someone else, especially directly to that person, is far more difficult.

And yet, not all love or relationships go that way. I look at my parents, who have been married for just shy of 35 years. I see my sisters' relationships with their husbands. I see family and friends with stable, loving relationships. I know that it's possible, and I know that I won't rest until I can find someone to develop such a relationship with myself.

So, I guess I agree with Ambassador Delenn, who later in that episode is commenting on Ivanova's observation with her aide Lennier (who is in love with Delenn, but refuses to tell her, but that's another sad story). She says, "She's wrong, of course."

But then, you have to live life as it comes at you, taking what joy you find as it comes along. Possibly the best advice from the episodes I watched on Saturday was this tidbit from Marcus: "Touch passion when it comes your way, Stephen. It's rare enough as it is. Don't walk away when it calls you by name."

Happy belated Valentine's Day, everyone. I hope that everyone who reads this is able to learn for themselves that Delenn is right and Ivanova is wrong, and that not all love is unrequited. Hold on to that love when you find it, for it is one of the most precious things in existence.

A Bit of History

This post is for my sister Meredith, another Chris LeDoux fan.

Caravan of yellow wire and crawling across the plains
Rolling along in a single file like a slow moving train
It rumbled down out of the mist into the early morning light
Said they stay till the job was finished if it took them till midnight
There were cats and scrapers all caterpillars packed up by mile high crane
And it looked like monsters from the old b movies the drive-ins use to play
And we'd sang goodbye Saturday under the stars
Wake up little Suzy in my daddy's car
So many memories got lost and found
When a piece of history hit the ground
The day they tore the last drive-in down

Memories thick as the smoke clouds they made man and machine became one
Boards snapped like toothpicks on their blades but to us it sounded like guns
Cowboys soldiers gangsters and thieves James Bond and his golden girls
Well you could sit in your car and never turn the key and go half way around the world
And it stood like a landmark for forty years we never thought we'd live to see
It fall it to the ground and then just disappear like so many childhood dreams
And we'd sang goodbye...

A lot of the drivers had tears in their eyes but I don't think it was just the dust
See I still believe there's a little piece of that old drive-in left in all of us
Nobody moved through what seemed like hours, and slow motion it came tumbling down
We just stood there with a taste of metal in our mouths and a silence all around
The day they tore the last drive-in down
And we'd sang goodbye...

For the past few weeks, I've had that song on my iPod rotation as I travel to and from work each day. One of my memories from my mission is from my greenie area, Las Vegas 4th Ward. There is a drive-in theater in the northern part of Las Vegas that was right in the middle of our area. While missionaries aren't supposed to be going out to the movies (and we didn't), sometimes we would be caught in traffic near the theater on our way home, and get to see small segments of movies that had come out (for example, I remember seeing a few minutes from Wild Wild West, although I didn't get to hear any of it until I got home).

Well, I did a little looking today. It turns out that there is a website that lists all of the drive-ins still operating in the US. Better yet, there are two of them about an hour or so away from me.

Meredith is planning to come to DC to visit for a few days sometime in May or June (bringing Sam so her Sam and my Sam can meet each other). Coincidentally, both drive-ins are reopening for the summer in May. When I told her this, she started insisting that we go to a real drive-in movie, if only for nostalgia's sake.

For some reason, I'm sensing a road trip.

One Year

Today is a day for some serious reflection for me. One year ago today, my marriage officially ended when a judge signed my divorce papers. It was a fairly quiet day for me. I was out of court by about 10am, took Derek (who acted as the non-party witness for the proceedings) to lunch, and then went to the Temple.

Since then, I've had a real roller coaster ride. Within a week of my divorce, I already had a friend try to set me up on a date with someone - who turned out to be one of my younger sister's friends growing up, and someone that I used to home teach! (I later attended her wedding in October.)

In trying to learn how to be single again, I faced a dozen rejections before I was able to get a single date. Even then, it was extremely awkward. In some ways, it was more awkward than either of my first dates back in high school or after my mission. I've tried to get over that awkwardness since then (and I hope I've succeeded in it), but it's still there at odd times.

I faced the decision of whether to return to the singles ward or stay in my family ward. In the end, that was no contest. My home teaching families are too much of a joy for me to give them up. Besides, sacrament meeting is too quiet in a singles ward. I enjoy the sound of children around (and I admit I've spent a sacrament meeting or ten flirting with a little girl in front of me - it keeps her from causing a fuss), and it serves as a clear reminder to me that the Gospel is about families, not just individuals.

I've had the chance to rebuild relationships with old friends, and the opportunity to come to love new friends as well. I've been to movies, musicals, concerts, and other events. I've spent time with my family, hosted friends over for dinner, and greatly expanded my cooking skills.

I've finally realized that I can treat myself well without feeling guilty about it. It's ok for me to buy myself nice things every now and then (although it is still a good idea to hunt for the best bargain). I've finally accepted that it's ok for me to go out to a nice restaurant by myself (although it's usually more fun to go with a friend), and ordering an appetizer before the meal isn't a waste of money.

I've taken chances. I've bought a plane ticket to visit someone who I had never really met before (although I had known her in passing four years earlier), and had a wonderful weekend. I started taking Tae Kwon Do, and managed to injure my shoulder (requiring four months of therapy and rest). I've pushed myself beyond my limits, and grown stronger (and smarter, I hope) because of it. I've taken leaps of faith, and sometimes fallen flat on my face. I've also had the opportunity to soar to new heights. I've faced disappointment and heartache, but also hope, joy, and encouragement.

I've learned that life is here to be lived, not simply survived. In order to live life to the fullest, you need to have a passion for everything that you do. I'm not to that point yet, but I'm trying to get there. Life is good! It should be enjoyed!

So, tonight I am going to celebrate life. I'm going to get home from work, go to my Tae Kwon Do class, and then go out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I'm going to grab life by the horns and refuse to let go.

Ready or not, here I come.

Family

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I'm sitting here this morning while my mince pie bakes, and as it's Christmas morning, it got me thinking about everything that usually makes Christmas special as a holiday. Yes, it is a time to celebrate Christ's birth, but we also know that he was actually born (more likely) in the springtime. And honestly, to me, Christmas is not as important a religious holiday as Easter is. At Christmas time we simply celebrate Christ's birth, but his birth in and of itself doesn't mean that much without his Atonement, which we celebrate at Easter. I guess that's why my family's Easter traditions always seem far more Christ-focused than our Christmas ones. After all, hanging sugar cookies and gingerbread men on a Christmas tree really doesn't have all that much to do with Christ, does it?

This year, my family was supposed to gather at my parents' house for a big Christmas together. We were going to have all of the siblings there, and my parents would have all of their grandkids in the house. Unfortunately, my younger sister had to go and ruin that plan rather early in the year by getting pregnant and being due on Christmas Eve, then giving birth over two months early. (We all love you Mer, and you know it! We'd rather have Sam than a big Christmas together.) Because we didn't know if even my parents would be home for Christmas, I decided to go out before Thanksgiving instead. This leaves me in the DC area for Christmas. Fortunately, my uncle and aunt live in the area and have invited me over for Christmas dinner, so I won't be completely on my own. But then, if they weren't around, I'd sill be just fine.

Why? Because I have so many wonderful friends around me. Last night, I was invited to Christmas Eve dinner by a wonderful family that I home teach. At church, I had no less than four different families ask me if I had a place for Christmas. My roommate's family asked if I needed a place, and if all of those fell through, I would have done what I did for Thanksgiving: host it myself. And I'm sure it would have been a perfectly enjoyable Christmas if I had to take that course.

I see very little difference between friends and family. Yes, when someone asks me how many siblings I have, I only mention my older brother and two sisters (and two brothers-in-law), but that's because I know what they are trying to ask. Except, I don't have only five siblings. Off the top of my head I can think of at least six friends who I consider to be family, every bit as much as my own blood relations.

There are Beth and Amanda, two good friends (and sisters) from my cousins' ward growing up who I used to do almost everything with. I even fought with Beth my first Sunday in Primary in Virginia, all those years ago. I worked alongside Beth doing tech support, the three of us went to church dances and had fun, I watched both of them go on missions, and received their support during my own mission, and I've watched (and mocked) many a bad movie with both of them. They are both my sisters in every way that matters.

There's Nisey, who is the daughter of an old family friend. When I got home from my mission, I discovered that my parents had rented out their extra room to her so she could have a place to live while attending George Mason. Together with Beth and Mer, we were the inaugural members of the Movie Mockers Association of America (Mock ON!!!!!). Nisey is simply family. She lived literally next door to me for what, two or three years? She was a second big sister to my kid sister, and my whole family loves her so much. She's simply one of us.

There's Meghan, who was one of my best friends in high school, and is probably the first woman I ever fell in love with. While she didn't return my feelings in the same way, it blossomed into what is probably my most valued friendship. Many times, she has been my life line. I have turned to her for advice, and in turn she has turned to me. When she got hurt by the end of a bad relationship, I was literally ready to kill the guy responsible if he had been there. When I have needed a boost, it seems like she has always been there for me.

There's Derek, who is one of the greatest guys I know. When my ex-wife decided to leave me, Derek was the one person in the area that I could really turn to. We've spent many a night learning all sorts of new recipes and finding wonderful ethnic dishes to enjoy. He was my best man at my wedding, and will be again, when or if I do get remarried (at least, the job is his if he wants it). We helped each other get through college, and we've stayed close since then. I hope that we always stay close, even as life takes us in different directions.

There's Betty, Derek's girlfriend, who is one of the most open and accepting people I know. When my parents moved and I was going to be out of town on business, Derek and Betty came over to help them pack, even though she didn't know them at all (and she hadn't met me yet at that point). She's joined me in the occasional conspiracy against Derek (hey, you enjoyed the birthday surprise so no complaints), and the three of us have enjoyed many wonderful evenings together cooking, dining, and watching wonderful movies and classic TV shows.

These are just a few of my siblings that I have been so blessed to find in this life. Each one of them, and many others I don't have the time to mention now, are family to me. I hope that my children someday come to know each of them as an uncle or aunt. If any of them are ever in need, I will be there for them no matter what the cost, just like I would for Chris, Em, Gene, Mer, or Cam.

Family isn't about blood or birth. It is about the people that we care about, the people that we form lasting relationships with. These are my friends, my family. I love each and every one of them.

These are my people.