A human being should ...

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert Heinlein

One of the blogs/sites that I follow is the Volokh Conspiracy (a libertarian/legal blog that is run by a UCLA law professor). This morning, there was a post that got me thinking, especially with the eventuality of having to raise my children. That post (and one of the related comments) reminded me of the above quote.

I'd like to think that my parents did a decent job of teaching me when I was a kid, sometimes without me realizing it. For example, I learned a lot about home repairs by "helping" my dad. Usually my help consisted of sitting there holding a flashlight, or handing him a screwdriver, but even today I can look back and see how much I learned from it.

In large part because of them, I've been able to do 17 of the 21 items on Heinlein's list, and I'm sure I could do the other 4 things. I'm only missing butcher a hog, set a bone, fight efficiently, and die gallantly, and I'd like to put some of those off for as long as I can (especially the last one). (Yes, I have planned an invasion. I've planned multiple successful invasions. So what if they were all in games?)

The more I look at that list, the more I wonder what sort of things I will want to teach my son. I'm definitely going to teach him basic home repairs, like my father taught me. I also look forward to teaching him to take care of his car, and how to cook several tasty meals. I look forward to teaching him to read music and play the piano, how to read and understand the scriptures and other great works of literature and philosophy.

Most of all, I look forward to teaching him how to think and reason his way through the challenges that present themselves in life. As I read that post from the Volokh Conspiracy, I was appalled by the examples of the teenagers who didn't know how to use a can opener or ice cube tray. I consider both of those to be failures at parenting.

They're failures not because the teenagers didn't know how to use them, but because they weren't willing to try to figure out how to use them. Neither of them is such a complex thing that an average person couldn't figure out how to use them with a few moments thought. Their parents should not only have taught them how to use them years ago, but they should have taught them how to reason through how things work years ago.

That won't be me. My kids are going to learn how to figure out how things work. I may regret this later. I know there are times my parents regretted having kids who could figure out not only how things worked, but how to get around obstacles to making them work.

Many years ago, my parents felt that their children were watching too much TV, and so they decided to do something about it. My father went to Radio Shack and bought a few supplies, and they put a keyed switch onto the power cord for the TV. Without the key, you couldn't turn the TV on. It was a primitive, analog version of the parental controls many TVs have today.

That lasted for maybe a week. Four determined kids and one paper clip later, we had learned how to pick the lock on the switch and watch TV without asking our parents for the key.

I'm sure such antics gave my parents heartburn, but I want my kids to be able to do the same thing. I want them to see an obstacle to their goals and figure out how to overcome it. I just hope that I can stay one step ahead of them when they think that I am that obstacle.

A lot to say

I apologize it's been so long since I updated this. Life has just sort of gotten busy, to the point where all I could do was hold on and enjoy the ride.

Some of the quick high points:

The other Unix Admin on my team quit back in February to travel Africa for a year, simply because he was almost 40 years old and if he didn't do it now, he never would. (You can enjoy his travel blog here.) Since then, I have basically been a one-man 24/7 support operation for almost 50 servers. We finally hired a replacement this month, but I am still bearing the brunt of the work until he gets up to speed. Hopefully, things will lighten up by the end of the year.

I've been doing a lot of work on the house. Between painting the "pink room" (it was the Disney paint color "Satin Ribbon" when we bought the house) a much nicer pale yellow, replacing the roof and gutters, redoing the bathroom, and preparing to paint the rest of the house, I've not had much in the way of free time. In the past month, I've also had to take time to work on my car, because both the alternator and the clutch went out on me (at different times). Fortunately, I was able to get the parts and do both repairs myself (for a fraction of the cost of having a mechanic do it).

Gwen and I also got a puppy back in May. She's a hound mix named Kaylee (we changed the name from the abominable "May Apple" that she came with), and is now about 7 months old. She likes to get into a lot of trouble (including a NY strip steak that I was about to cook for a friend's birthday dinner), but she's really a delight to have in our home. I am so glad that we were able to buy a home with a fenced-in yard. It's been a life saver with her.

However, the biggest news is something that I am really looking forward to. Last week, Gwen and I went for our Level II Ultrasound and discovered that we are going to have a son! We are due on or about February 9-10, 2011! I promised that I would let people know within a year or so of when we got pregnant, and here we are. I'll update with pictures as they become available.

And yes, I fully recognize that my sisters are both eagerly awaiting the opportunity to watch me handle my own kids. I've gotten so much delight from watching them deal with their progeny that turnabout is fair play.

In any case, I need to get back to work, but I did want to get this written up before I let it slide (yet again).

Married Life

It has been a long time since I last posted, but I believe that I have very good reason. Since I last posted, I both bought a house and got married. Because of that, it is my pleasure to announce that Weird is a Compliment is no longer a solo effort. My beautiful wife has agreed to join me in posting here occasionally.

The two of us have mostly managed to settle in, and we are really enjoying just being able to spend time together. It's amazing what kind of a difference it makes when you can do things together in the evening, and don't have to worry about leaving in time to make an hour-long drive home. It's a wonderful thing to get home from work, and enjoy a quiet evening at home with my wife.

With that said, I have to express a few pet peeves with a lot of people that I have run into since our wedding. It seems like everyone wants to ask the same questions, and in most cases they should already know the answers.

1) "What did you do on your honeymoon?"

This one irritates me for several reasons, depending on who asks it and what they are specifically asking. Some people ask it as though it's a competition to see who can have the most exciting honeymoon, or travel to the most exotic locations. Others are trying to ask what specific activities we had planned. To answer this, we spent a quiet weekend at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, and didn't really plan much of anything except alone time to get used to the whole idea of being married. It was wonderful.

Of course, that sort of answer isn't good enough for some people. In one case, someone kept pushing me about what did we have planned for our honeymoon, to the point where I gave an answer that will shock some of you. (It certainly shocked him.) If you really want to know that answer, email me. I'm not posting it here.

2) "How's married life?"

This question really irritates me, because I mostly get it from people who are married themselves, and so they should already know the big secret of married life: it's a lot like single life, which is just like life in general. People don't magically change when they get married, and Gwen is the same Gwen today that she was before our wedding.

Yes, there are adjustments to make. She fold the towels in halves, while I fold them in thirds. She puts soap into the dishwasher immediately after emptying it so she can easily tell that the dishes are dirty, and I wait to fill the soap dispenser until I run it. She's stolen the covers a time or two, and so have I.

But none of these things is really a fundamental issue, nor do these sort of things really matter that much in the long run. (Well, maybe the towels, but we won't go into that...) The only real difference between being engaged and being married is that we are discovering more and more each day how deeply we really love each other.

3) "Are you planning to have children?" "How many kids do you want?" "Are you trying for kids?"

These questions irritate me more than any others. Quite frankly, it's no one else's business when we plan to have kids, how many kids we plan to have, or whether we are trying to have kids right now.

If we want you to know when or if we're having kids, we'll let you know. We're still getting used to the whole idea of being married, and we're not really focusing on children right now. When that changes, we'll be sure to let all of you know within a year or so of our getting pregnant. Otherwise, if you are going to ask these questions, you had better be prepared to provide babysitting services (for free) when we do have kids, because I consider such questions to be volunteering.

I don't want to seem like I am just complaining, though. I'm grateful that so many people care about both of us to the point where they are interested in our lives. But I do wish that some people would learn to temper their curiosity with a little more common sense. At the very least, I would prefer that people come up with some more personalized and unique questions.

Is that too much to ask?

The Big Reveal

And now, behold! The promised pictures the soon-to-be Mrs. I think you will all have the same question that my friends and coworkers have asked when seeing Gwen for the first time:

"What's a girl like her doing with a guy like you? Couldn't she find someone better?"

I fully recognize that I really don't measure up to a woman as amazing and wonderful as she is, but I do keep on trying. For some reason, she thinks that's enough.
This is our official engagement picture.


This is the last picture that we took that day. It was just a spur of the moment one, but I think it was one of the best overall.


We were told to walk up the path together, but I was in the mood for a game of tag.

And finally, just to prove that she really can deal with me quite easily:

Have I mentioned that I think Gwen is absolutely wonderful, and I am so blessed to know her, let alone be marrying her?

It's a Crazy Life

It seems like every time I post, I start by apologizing for not posting. Sorry, but that's life.

I'm still alive and kicking. A lot has happened, and yet it seems like I'm still right where I was before.

I'm still waiting for the final approval on the house, still waiting for the wedding, and still dealing with things day-to-day. I'm starting to get impatient at the wait. Like Inigo Montoya, "I hate waiting."

Darn it, I don't want to wait another month for my house. I don't want to wait another 75 days to get married (but who's counting). I don't want to be patient. I just want to be able to move forward with everything.

But, all in all, life is good. Yesterday, Gwen and I went to Cabell's Mill and took our engagement pictures. My old friend Meghan borrowed my camera and took the pictures for us (and it only cost me a grilled cheese sandwich, some tomato soup, and some ice cream). She did a phenomenal job, and really brought out the beauty of Gwen's hair. I will try to post some of the pictures later today.

We hope to have the announcements ready to mail in a week or three, but I am in the process of verifying addresses. If I haven't contacted you already to verify your mailing address, and you want to be sure to get one, drop me an email.

That about covers everything for now. I will endeavor to post more often in the future.

Big news!

I will keep this short, because I have to get to bed soon, but I have some wonderful news to share.

Today, my girlfriend and I announced to our families that she is not my girlfriend, but my fiancée. We are getting married this coming October in the Washington DC Temple.

There is so much more that I could say right now, but suffice it to say that Gwen is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She is intelligent, witty, charming, beautiful, and has a smile that can disarm anyone. She somehow has a way of seeing who I really am, and yet she actually seems to like what she sees. She deserves far better than me, but she doesn't seem to want anyone else.

I don't deserve a woman like her in my life, but if she can't see that, I'm certainly not going to try to change her mind. To quote Nanky-Poo from The Mikado, "She shall never learn the truth from me."

I'm a Lucky Man

Yesteday was a very good day, for many reasons.

First, I have a ratified contract on a house!

It's not the same house that I mentioned last time (I missed out on that one and one other in the past month), but it's a very good one. It's a 3 bed, 2 bath house on 1/6 acre, with a decent-sized kitchen and a master bedroom suite.

Its location puts me only 15-20 minutes away from work, as compared to the hour-long commute that I have now. It's even right down the street from one of the 6 elementary schools that I attended as a kid.

It has a small, wood-framed shed in the back that I can convert into a decent workshop. It even has electricity wired to the shed!

Now, admittedly, it does have its own share of problems. For example, when they added an addition, they built the laundry room just inside the master bedroom when it would have been trivial to put it in the same place, but be accessible from the dining room. But that will be an easy fix (cut a hole in one wall for a door, and build a wall where there is an opening now). The main bathroom also has a faux tile, fiberglass backstop for the tub/shower area. I'd need to replace that with some real tile when I have the time. The attic is perfect for a lot of storage, but it will need insulationm but that's relatively easy to do.

Most important of all, it is a place where I could raise a family. It has enough room to let me go a good 5-10 years before I'm likely to need a bigger house. It's in a quiet neighborhood with good schools (the same schools that several of my cousins attended, actually), and it's close to a lot of good, wholesome activities.

It's a short sale, which means that the seller's bank needs to approve the offer (and that can take several weeks), but if all goes well, I will be in my own home by July.

Second, I got to spend a wonderful evening at the Temple doing baptisms for several of my own ancestors. I met my girlfriend and her father up there after work (she was already there as a Temple worker, and he had just finished a session), and I got baptize her for 12 of my ancestors, and I was baptized for another 12. Her father then confirmed both of us for those ancestors.

This was only the third time in my memory that I have had the opportunity to do baptisms for my ancestors, and it is always a powerful experience. I was reminded of the first time, about 10 years ago. I had just taken out my own Endowment a week or so earlier, and my father, sister, and I went one Friday night to do the family baptisms. I got to baptize Mer for 10 ancestors, then our father baptized me for the rest. It was such an incredible experience. To me, it ranks right up there with the day that my brother was ordained a Priest by our father, and then he stood up, walked around the chair, and ordained me a Deacon.

Just in general, life is good. I have a good (albeit busy), stable job. I am buying a house that I can call my own. I have a beautiful, intelligent, witty, and charming girlfriend (which is another story completely, but will have to wait until later). I am reminded of the last verse and chorus of Montgomery Gentry's song "Lucky Man":

Got some friends who would be here fast
I could call em any time of day
Got a brother who's got my back
Got a mama who I swear's a saint
Got a brand new rod and reel
Got a a full week off this year
Dad had a close call last spring
It's a miracle he's still here

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
a few dollars in a coffee can
My old truck's still running good
My ticker's tickin' like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And even my bad days ain't that bad
Yeah, I'm a lucky man
I'm a lucky lucky man

I truly am a very lucky man.