Family

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I'm sitting here this morning while my mince pie bakes, and as it's Christmas morning, it got me thinking about everything that usually makes Christmas special as a holiday. Yes, it is a time to celebrate Christ's birth, but we also know that he was actually born (more likely) in the springtime. And honestly, to me, Christmas is not as important a religious holiday as Easter is. At Christmas time we simply celebrate Christ's birth, but his birth in and of itself doesn't mean that much without his Atonement, which we celebrate at Easter. I guess that's why my family's Easter traditions always seem far more Christ-focused than our Christmas ones. After all, hanging sugar cookies and gingerbread men on a Christmas tree really doesn't have all that much to do with Christ, does it?

This year, my family was supposed to gather at my parents' house for a big Christmas together. We were going to have all of the siblings there, and my parents would have all of their grandkids in the house. Unfortunately, my younger sister had to go and ruin that plan rather early in the year by getting pregnant and being due on Christmas Eve, then giving birth over two months early. (We all love you Mer, and you know it! We'd rather have Sam than a big Christmas together.) Because we didn't know if even my parents would be home for Christmas, I decided to go out before Thanksgiving instead. This leaves me in the DC area for Christmas. Fortunately, my uncle and aunt live in the area and have invited me over for Christmas dinner, so I won't be completely on my own. But then, if they weren't around, I'd sill be just fine.

Why? Because I have so many wonderful friends around me. Last night, I was invited to Christmas Eve dinner by a wonderful family that I home teach. At church, I had no less than four different families ask me if I had a place for Christmas. My roommate's family asked if I needed a place, and if all of those fell through, I would have done what I did for Thanksgiving: host it myself. And I'm sure it would have been a perfectly enjoyable Christmas if I had to take that course.

I see very little difference between friends and family. Yes, when someone asks me how many siblings I have, I only mention my older brother and two sisters (and two brothers-in-law), but that's because I know what they are trying to ask. Except, I don't have only five siblings. Off the top of my head I can think of at least six friends who I consider to be family, every bit as much as my own blood relations.

There are Beth and Amanda, two good friends (and sisters) from my cousins' ward growing up who I used to do almost everything with. I even fought with Beth my first Sunday in Primary in Virginia, all those years ago. I worked alongside Beth doing tech support, the three of us went to church dances and had fun, I watched both of them go on missions, and received their support during my own mission, and I've watched (and mocked) many a bad movie with both of them. They are both my sisters in every way that matters.

There's Nisey, who is the daughter of an old family friend. When I got home from my mission, I discovered that my parents had rented out their extra room to her so she could have a place to live while attending George Mason. Together with Beth and Mer, we were the inaugural members of the Movie Mockers Association of America (Mock ON!!!!!). Nisey is simply family. She lived literally next door to me for what, two or three years? She was a second big sister to my kid sister, and my whole family loves her so much. She's simply one of us.

There's Meghan, who was one of my best friends in high school, and is probably the first woman I ever fell in love with. While she didn't return my feelings in the same way, it blossomed into what is probably my most valued friendship. Many times, she has been my life line. I have turned to her for advice, and in turn she has turned to me. When she got hurt by the end of a bad relationship, I was literally ready to kill the guy responsible if he had been there. When I have needed a boost, it seems like she has always been there for me.

There's Derek, who is one of the greatest guys I know. When my ex-wife decided to leave me, Derek was the one person in the area that I could really turn to. We've spent many a night learning all sorts of new recipes and finding wonderful ethnic dishes to enjoy. He was my best man at my wedding, and will be again, when or if I do get remarried (at least, the job is his if he wants it). We helped each other get through college, and we've stayed close since then. I hope that we always stay close, even as life takes us in different directions.

There's Betty, Derek's girlfriend, who is one of the most open and accepting people I know. When my parents moved and I was going to be out of town on business, Derek and Betty came over to help them pack, even though she didn't know them at all (and she hadn't met me yet at that point). She's joined me in the occasional conspiracy against Derek (hey, you enjoyed the birthday surprise so no complaints), and the three of us have enjoyed many wonderful evenings together cooking, dining, and watching wonderful movies and classic TV shows.

These are just a few of my siblings that I have been so blessed to find in this life. Each one of them, and many others I don't have the time to mention now, are family to me. I hope that my children someday come to know each of them as an uncle or aunt. If any of them are ever in need, I will be there for them no matter what the cost, just like I would for Chris, Em, Gene, Mer, or Cam.

Family isn't about blood or birth. It is about the people that we care about, the people that we form lasting relationships with. These are my friends, my family. I love each and every one of them.

These are my people.

Learning to Say "No"

Ok, look. I never promised that I would post all that often, nor that they would be all that regular. Just because some people who blog insist on posting every day (sometimes multiple times) doesn't mean that I have to. I have other things that I need to deal with.

For example, I have spent a good part of the past week dealing with my boss at work (a great guy, one of the best managers I've ever seen), and the people who think they are my boss. I've had three major projects on my plate that my boss gave me, all of which I was told are the highest priority. Of course, the people who think that they are my boss all had minor jobs that they wanted me to do, and to them they were the absolute top priority. I have been trying to break several of my coworkers of the habit of thinking that I am at their beck and call.

Yes, my job is mostly to sit around and wait for something to break, and then fix it, but that doesn't mean that all I do is sit around. Sometimes, I do actually have work to do, and the last minute incidental jobs aren't always my top priority. When I say that I have a job (or two, or three) that are high priority, I mean exactly that. I'll get to your job when one of two things happens. Either I have finished the high priority jobs, or my boss (who gave me the high priority jobs) tells me that I need to change my priorities.

One of the things that I have been making a real effort to do with my job is track all of my projects and keep them in priority order. Each time that my boss gives me a new project to work on, I make sure to ask him where it should fall in my priorities (i.e. "Which of my current projects should I delay for this?"). If someone else tries to rewrite my priority list, I've learned to simply tell them "No", and let them appeal my decision to my boss if they have a problem with it.

So far, it seems to be working.

Taking the Plunge

Well, I swore I would never do this, but after a lot of poking, prodding, and general requests from a variety of people I know, I'm going to give this newfangled blogging thing a try.

So, welcome to "Weird is a Compliment".

The name comes from an old family story about my parents. After they met one summer at a physics program, my father was lamenting to a friend of his about why, of all the women he could like, it had to be my mother. His friend simply responded, "Because she's the weirdest one of the bunch." Ever since then, weird has been one of the highest compliments in my family.

Well, here you will be subjected to my occasional thoughts, musings, and general weirdness. Consider yourself warned.